The First Quarter Quell
by Someone Haiku
Summary: For the 25th anniversary of the Hunger Games, President Snow needs something new, something different, something... dangerous. Panem better watch out, a groundbreaking idea is crawling from the maniacal brain of Snow.
1. Prologue

President Snow needed something big for the 25th Hunger Games. After all, it was the tweny fifth anniversary of a barbaric tradition, something was needed to wow the Capitol audience. Calling a meeting of gamemakers and other important figures, the President felt an idea coming on. An awful idea. President Snow had a wonderfully awful idea.

"For this Hunger Games, we need something big, something special. It is our first Quarter Quell. It marks a turning point in the history of Panem." The ruler smiled his snake smile as he leaned back in his chair. "We already send their teens to their death, so how about we go even lower, even... younger..."

"Wut?" Seneca Crane cleverly articulated.

" I'm talkin' babies people!" The president exclaimed, jumping up from his seat. "We send infants from the age of 5 to 10 months into that arena to battle to the death! Whatcha think?" He directed his inquiry towards the gamemakers and important people, who all remained silent.

Because that was a really stupid idea. But nobody objected, because they all enjoyed living.

So President Snow hadhis way.

Hooray for the 25th Hunger Games, Battle of Babies, Clash of the Infants.


	2. The Announcement

The annoucement of the 1st Quarter Quell had shocked all of Panem. The reactions varied from staring at the screen in gaping disbelief, to outright laughter, to just a shak eof the head and returning to various menial tasks.

The reactions President Snow imagined were sobbing, fainting, rushing to clutch their precious babies during their few final weeks at home, or at all.

District 1 and 2's would-be tributes were crushed, heart broken even, that they wouldn't get to kill other teens. Life is tough that way sometimes.

The other, less competitive district's teens breathed a collective sigh of relief, some thinking this new president had gone off the deep end. That conclusion wasn't far off.

"I'm such a genius." The president assured himself, settling back into his chair, before realizing it was a stool.

"Sure you are, sir," Egeria, his assistant, assured him, reaching down to pat him soothingly on the head.

President Snow frowned. He did not like to be pet. He was very sensitive about his fluffiness, yet refused to shave his beard of, because, as he claimed, "The chicks dig it.". Also because he harbored a secret fear that there was absolutely nothing beneath his beard.

Egeria left to get the president's doctor as said ruler rolled around on the floor, muttering about beards and babies.


	3. Chapter 3

The escorts did not sign up for this. They were supposed to be drawing the names of Panem's next seasoned warriors, not of mere infants.

The babies had no idea what was going on as they were carried onto the stage when their names were called out. Some screamed when they were handed to the escorts, becuase the weirdo clown was not their mother.

The escorts did not know how to take care of babies. Never were they more grateful fir the Avoxes, because no way in heck woukd the cream of the Capitol crop be changing diapers.

One poor escort, Julsta, got saddled with a screamer, and a slobberer. In just minutes her designer outfit was smothered in baby drool, and she had a major headache.

The mothers and fathers did fear for their babies, in the Capitol, without a parent.

One thing was known through all of Panem, this would be an unforgettable Hunger Games.


	4. Tribute Parade

The stylists were not pleased. Well, some of them were pleased, because they got to make aDORable tiny outfits.

The District One tributes were just swaddled up in gold cloth, and had tiny crowns on top of their heads.

The District Two tributes were simply covered in silver sparkles.

The District Three tributes were adorned with huge goggles, and had a very steampunk baby look

The District Four tributes were dressed as fish. Hooray for the fish babies.

The District Five stylist didn't even care, and just stuck the babies in neon diapers.

The District Six tributes held toy trains, and were painted with tiny designs.

The District Seven tributes had tree hats.

The District Eight babes were swathed in various multicolored fabrics.

The District Nine stylist quit. Because seriously, who wants to have to dress babies up as grain?

The District Ten stylist put the tributes in cow costumes.

The District Eleven babies just sat there in baby bikinis. Their stylist was fired.

The Disrict Twelve tributes had giant lamp headresses. Go figure.

The parade itself was mayhem. The crowds cheers sounded quite confused. Both tributes from Two had conked out, and fallen of the chariot. The Twelve girl kept giggling and trying to pet the horses. At least five babies were simply screaming their little heads of, and a Seven babe had ripped of their headress and was attempting to eat it.

One of the Ten's was laughing and gurgling 'Cooooooooow! Cow go Moooooooo! Cooooooooow!'. The other one one was curiously swatting at her district partners tail.

Eleven sat there, being solemn. The girl from One became an immediate crowd favorite, by pointing randomly into the audience and screeching 'Pwetty!' The boy from Eight was trying to break free from his fabric constraints. District Nine was cooing happily, and most of them were sucking their thumbs. Or fists. The boy from Six had stuck his entire arm in his mouth, train and all.

Districts Three and Four were curiously fiddling with anything the could reach, and the Three girl had grabbed her partners banded hand and was inspecting it.

All of Panem knew that this was an unforgettable Tribute Parade


End file.
